dave

04:20 pm: a long goodbye
im actually pretty sure that no one reads this anymore seeing as how i havent posted in over a month... if you do read this you must care a little and so to those of you who do i say goodbye. if your just interested in how life is im currently recieving a 4.0 average at GMCC BCOM program. im selling the harley to buy a new yamaha R6 and this summer i started racing both bike and cars. other than that not a lot else is new just catching up with old friends and renewing lost contact. also im just waiting for my loan to clear so i can start aquiring devloped property such as appartments/condos so if your looking for a place call me and i might be able to set you up.... till then. solong

11:09 am: pain
pain is a funny thing there is not a day that passes that i teel myself today will be beter and that i truely feel as though im moving forward only to find myself moments later hurting. i went to the usa for the better part of a week and a bit to find something when what i have actually been looking for has just been right here.

03:25 pm: when it rains...
a little while ago i wrote apost detailing the fact that when my life goes down it really goes down in a massive way. i just got back from the u of a icu unit in which i had the oppertunity to see my best friend/brother. i must say first that i hope you all pray for him and that i am constantly praying for him too. cody rolled his bike a few nights ago and is in a coma. the left side of his head and his entire right arm are shattered. there is a good chance that cody may not pull through this one. i spent around 3 hrs. today over his bedside as soon as i found out and things really arnt good. i pray to god for a miricle that he can come around and wish me a happy birthday. that i what i want this year.

10:42 am: these are the days to remember. im having an awsomeparty right all of my close friends are/were here we wipped out some coop guitar hero played some football and just screwed around. these really are the days of summer and these are the days to remember. i got back from red deer today at like 3 and spontaneously decided to have a party. its just bothersome because the phone keeps ringing... anyways its good to have this. i really needed this it has really started to line a few things up and show me who my real friends are. its an awsome feeling being able to take an outside view of myself and friends and see that i truely have refound myself, the way i used to be, the way im happy, i havent felt like this since before christmas, today has REALLY showed me how much ive changed. some huge things are going on in my life right now and my birthday is right arond the corner. i just hope i get what i want for my birthday... for the first time in a long while when somebody asks what i want this year its easy i guess. anyways this post was suppossed to go up like sat night at light 4 but live journal is being stupid so ... what do you do right?

11:05 am: sadness
today is a sad day indeed for starters it turns out i "injured" like four bones in my foot but my doctor says that from initial examination my two biggest toes are either fractured or broken... yes i cant walk. but even more depressing is that my baby has her surgery in calgary today and no complications are expected but its fairly lengthy surgery on a dog. i hope she recovers fine and she is no longer emo/lazy...

09:08 pm: ATTN: you!
i dont know when you will read this but in the future when things are better maybe you will see it then.

alot of things said and done have put me pack into a confused and searching spin.

i dont know why you have to get over me or what i did to push you away and im trying to do everything i feel you will let me do to try and make things right. so you know im trying to learn these 3 songs for you plus dead! (there's just so much right now)


Sister, I'm not much a poet, but a criminal
And you never had a chance
Love it, or leave it, you can't understand
A pretty face, but you do so carry on,
and on,
and on

I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me
I'm just the way that the doctor made me, on,
and on,
and on,
and on
Love is the red the rose on your coffin door
What's life like, bleeding on the floor,
the floor,
the floor

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
Give me a reason to believe

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will

Preach all you want but who's gonna save me?
I keep a gun on the book you gave me, hallelujah, lock and load
Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent son
It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one,
and one,
and one,
and one

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
Give me a reason to believe

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
You wanna follow something
Give me a better cause to lead
Just give me what I need
Give me a reason to believe

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will

So give me all your poison (Fire at will)
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts (Fire at will)
And make me ill
You're running after something (Fire at will)
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want (Fire at will)
Then fire at will

This night, walk the dead
In a solitary style
And crash the cemetery gates.
In the dress your husband hates
Way down, mark the grave
Where the search lights find us
Drinking by the mausoleum door
And they found you on the bathroom floor

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Back home, off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying
If you want I'll keep on crying
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want me for?

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

When will I miss you, when will I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Made it so hard

Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down...

Gaze into her killing jar
I'd sometimes stare for hours (sometimes stare for hours).
She even poked the holes so I can breathe.
She bought the last line.
I'm just the worst kind.
Of guy to argue.
With what you might find.
And for the last night I lie.
Could I lie with you?

Alright, give up, get down
It's just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants
It all to come down this time.

Lost in the prescription
she's got something else in mind (something else in mind).
Check into the Hotel Bella Muerte.
It gives the weak flight.
It gives the blind sight.
Until the cops come.
Or by the last light.
And for the last night I lie.
Could I lie next to you?

Alright, give up, get down
It's just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants
It all to come down this time.

Alright, give up, get down
It's just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants
It all to come down this time.

Pull the plug.
But I'd like to learn your name.
And holding on.
Well I hope you do the same.
Aw sugar.
Slip into the tragedy you've spun this chamber dry.

Alright, give up, get down
It's just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants
It all to come down this time.

Alright, give up, get down
It's just the hardest part of living.
Alright, she wants
It all to come down this time.

Pull the plug.
But I'd like to learn your name.
And holding on.
Well I hope you do the same.
Aw sugar.

06:58 pm: wow
beautiful friday/saturday other than the fact i have nothing to do tonight bo-erns. i probly just game meh... fun times

02:28 pm: Wow
yesterday in a nutshell was a good day slightly confusing but all round good and not unwanted. can't wait to be your friend

while it is true that im not afraid to keep living i am afraid to walk alone and i am afraid of lossing you now and/or forever

11:01 am: Cheated
Now I know,
That I can't make you stay.
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your,

And I know.
There's nothing I can say.
To change that part.
To change that part.
To change.

So many,
Bright lights they cast a shadow,
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding,
I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding,
I get so weak.
A love that's so demanding,
I can't speak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

Can you see?
My eyes are shining bright,
'Cause I'm out here, on the other side,
Of a jet black hotel mirror,
And I'm so weak.
Is it hard understanding?
I'm incomplete.
A love that's so demanding,
I get weak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven,


Nothing you can say can stop me going home.


These bright lights have always blinded me.
These bright lights have always blinded me.

I say.

I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.

Asleep, or dead...

I just feel like i never got to say goodbye....

10:24 am: you
FOREVER REMEMBER...
i wish i could put my finger on a day or even an event that either made me push you away or made you grow from me. im still recapping in my head what has happened and searching for a why. i really cant find one but at the same time i can find too many. i hope you read this so you know that i am sorry. i am doing everything you asked other than giving you distance for which i am sorry for. i am trying. its just that something has not been sitting quite right with me and today well actually last night i realized what it was. I never got a chance to say goodbye. i realise that now tuesday was you saying goodbye, and me fighting. im sorry that it took me a week to realise that. i just hope u dont hate me for what i have to do and in time i hope that u can realise and understand that i just need to say goodbye in my way. i think it is only fair seeing as how you got your chance. im just asking for mine and then after that i WILL disappear. i wont contact you anymore after this. i hope you can see that. Until then.
goodbye erin.